Progressives Across Nation Locked Out Of Accounts After CAPTCHA Asks ‘Select All Squares That Contain A Woman’. By the Babylon Bee.

Progressives across the nation have found themselves locked out of their accounts after CAPTCHA began asking users to identify what squares show a woman.

“I’m not a biologist!” cried local man Lucas Fitzgerald. “What kind of sick joke is this?” …

In response to the outcry, the company behind the new CAPTCHA challenge defended the rigorous testing process for each picture. “We have tons of data showing that three-year-olds can reliably pick out the woman in the image,” said software engineer Gary Marsh. “So can the vast majority of household pets. The program is merely designed to check for the bare minimum level of intelligence to be human. We literally cannot make it any dumber.”

At publishing time, President Biden had smashed another computer in frustration after being unable to log in to his email.