New IPhone 13 Will Require Vaccination To Unlock Screen

New IPhone 13 Will Require Vaccination To Unlock Screen. By the Babylon Bee.

During the much-anticipated unveiling of the new iPhone 13 at this year’s Apple Event, CEO Tim Cook revealed that the newest model and iOS will ask users to confirm vaccination status before unlocking the screen.

“We here at Apple are doing our part to keep you safe by keeping our sacred products out of the hands of the filthy unvaccinated,” said Cook as he paced the stage. “That’s why starting with the iPhone 13, all Apple users will be required to scan their vaccination card in order to unlock their iPhones.”

The crowd stood to their feet and cheered at the brilliant idea.

“I think it’s a brilliant idea,” said Apple fan Mavis Bimbasquelch as he walked out of the event. “If those stupid dumb anti-vaxxers don’t want to get vaccinated, they can build their own computer company. Also, I hope they die.”

What’s a day without some covid commentary?

Moving from satire to reality, here’s an interesting poll (US, Sep 2, 1,000 people):

Fourteen percent of vaccinated respondents — about 1 in 7 — say they parted ways with friends who didn’t want to get the vaccine. Even “Friends” and “The Morning Show” star Jennifer Aniston claims she’s ended friendships over vaccination beliefs. …

The poll discovered other reasons friends broke up — whether vaccinated or not — including having different political views (16%), dating or sleeping with an ex (15%), making up rumors about them (12%), and believing someone is a liar (7%). …

The vast majority of vaccinated people (97%) consider their ex-friends to be “full-blown anti-vaxxers” and say they could never get them to understand the importance of the vaccine. …

Seven percent of Democrats remain unvaccinated, followed by 27 percent of third-party supporters, 23 percent of Republicans, and one in five Independents.

hat-tip Stephen Neil