The owner of the bakery, Mr. Oliver Bennett, has steadfastly refused to back down. “We here at the ‘Do Better Bakery’ exist to support diversity, equity, and inclusion. It’s why I’ve moved to using only black flour, baking bread that identifies as cake, and occasionally firing myself out of guilt. And this guy wants me to bless the Big Lie with cake? I’d rather take this mask off, catch COVID, not take hydroxychloroquine, and die!”
Attorney General Merrick Garland, his schedule cleared after recently being smacked down by the Supreme Court, took time to weigh in on the case. “It’s such a terrible violation of rights to be asked to write a lie with delicious frosting. A business should always have the right to refuse a customer asking them to violate their own conscience. To be clear, that’s totally different from the Masterpiece Cakeshop guy being asked to violate his conscience. Why? Because I say so! Hahahahahaha oh man this job is the best!”
According to sources, Mr. Nelson did consider going to the ‘MAGA Bakery’ to get his cake, but it was all the way across the street and he thought it would be more fun to trigger a “liberal snowflake” baker.
Fiction, but so truthy. Sadly, this one was true: Masterpiece Cakeshop Baker Jack Phillips Now Facing Lawsuit for Refusing to Make ‘Gender Transition’ Cake.
Speaking of trans:
We went from “All men are rapists” to “This man can show his penis if he thinks he’s a woman” at lightning speed. https://t.co/6jCAy5hJzt
— Amy Curtis (@RantyAmyCurtis) July 5, 2021
hat-tip Stephen Neil