A local 3rd-grade girl was rushed to Mission Hospital today after she showed up to school with a G.I. Joe — an action figure typically played with by boys. She is currently undergoing emergency surgery to become a boy. …
When asked whether Abby’s parents would be notified, the superintendent replied: “Goodness, no. Her parents don’t need to hear about any of that. They’re probably religious weirdos anyway. No, these decisions are best left to experts like us.”
According to sources, Abby returned to school later that day as “Abe,” (he/him).
Horrified at what had happened, the other girls in Abby’s class silently vowed never to show up to school with a boy’s toy.