The Cool Kids Are Back in Town!

The Cool Kids Are Back in Town! By Matt Purple.

Following the inauguration of Obama’s former veep, Joe Biden, one thing is clear: the cool kids are back in town. And if Wednesday was any indication, they’re going to make the next four years deeply insufferable.

That Joe Biden is even considered cool is quite a feat of airbrushing. It’s easy to understand why Kamala Harris is cool, given that she checks most of our present-day coolness boxes: progressive woman of color, never bores anyone with substance, spends most of her time auditioning for GIFs and clapping back at the furniture. But Biden?

He’s a 78-year-old white Irish guy from a state people usually forget exists. He likes to ride trains, worked with segregationists in the Senate, and once warned about the creeping menace of Indian accents at Dunkin’ Donuts. Some of Biden’s coolness surely derives from his posse, including his wife, Jill, who, like all cool celebrities, once played a doctor on TV. Biden is also replacing someone whose idea of cool was to have McDonald’s cater a banquet, so the bar is admittedly rather low. …

Cool and hip became another subsidiary of moral vanity and the left’s addiction to feeling superior to the rest of us. On the Obama era:

Yet all this hip smartness was also largely superficial. Politics was cool only when filtered through presidential quips and easy signifiers, in the same way that science was only cool via the reductive snappiness of Neil deGrasse Tyson. … The point wasn’t to be smart per se — it certainly wasn’t to read books, though incidentally have you seen The Handmaid’s Tale? — it was to feel smarter than a conjured-up class of braying right-wing untermenschen. …

Biden is cool? Really?

Given that journalists love to partake in the cool too, my point is: get ready. The president’s iTunes playlist is about to become breaking news again. So too the vice president’s yoga routine and model of Fitbit. … Late-night hosts will fete the second husband like he’s the next Frank Sinatra. Thrills will go up legs, presidential karaoke attempts will be fawned over, various White House staffers will be shipped. Also, thousands of Keystone pipeline workers will be put out of jobs and the troops will remain quagmired in Afghanistan and Iraq. But did you see Kamala slow-jam the news on Fallon last night? I mean…I just…I can’t…it’s like…what a kween!

Yes, the cool kids are back. By 2024, the rest of us are going to wish we could shove them into a locker.

hat-tip Stephen Neil