Girlfriend Keeps Referring To Herself As ‘Wife-Elect’ Despite No Official Word From Boyfriend

Girlfriend Keeps Referring To Herself As ‘Wife-Elect’ Despite No Official Word From Boyfriend. By the Babylon Bee.

Sources close to Winston Davis say he is “totally screwed” as his girlfriend Wendy Fitzpatrick keeps referring to herself as “Wife-Elect” at any and every public gathering with close family and friends.

This awkward situation is happening to Winston despite no clear moment in time in which it ever entered his mind that Wendy was “the one” or that he was even getting close to asking her the question to make such an interim title even remotely appropriate.

“Uh, honey—” Winston could be heard starting to interject before Wendy went ahead and dialed up local caterers and contractors to make arrangements for the wedding, which was surely going to unify their two families who haven’t always gotten along, and bring about a glorious time of family healing.

hat-tip Nick