New App Automatically Updates Your Profiles With The Latest Virtue Signals, by the Bablyon Bee.
The tech wizards at Capo Creative are launching a new app that will help users stay abreast of the latest trends in virtue-signaling — it’s called Signlr.
Algorithms within Signlr analyze virtue signal trends across the Internet and, as soon as a new one is detected, update all your social media to fit the current narrative. Not only will your avatar be replaced with whatever flavor-of-the-day icon for social justice people are replacing their faces with in order to not be shamed and doxxed by the ever-rabid online mob, but Signlr will also update your profile status and post regularly using socially acceptable bandwagon language that will show everyone you are all-in on whatever the latest thing is.
Beta testers have been extremely happy with Signlr’s performance. “I honestly have just been playing a lot of Fortnite, but I checked my social media, and Signlr had me covered.” …
“We at Signlr agree with the current belief that silence is violence,” said Signlr developer Marchonne Winston. “There is nothing more important than to blurt out your support for the leading virtue signal trends. Anything else — like thinking, hesitating, or trying to make caveats — is violence. With our app, you don’t have to think or even pay attention.”
She added, “You know you’re a good person, but letting the world know that is a lot of work — until now.“
hat-tip Stephen Neil