Pelosi Reassures Nation Impeachment is Ultimate Aphrodisiac

Pelosi Reassures Nation Impeachment is Ultimate Aphrodisiac, by The Derringer, a satrical site.

“You will love it,” reassured House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as she opened an impeachment inquiry into President Trump, “Impeachment is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

“We’ve done this before,” she said, “And it is a rip-rolling good time. A lot of people will be getting off on this. I know I’m excited.”

As the news broke, major news networks were struggling to keep their shows together as massive orgies broke out backstage, pulling tens and then hundreds of employees into writhing, fleshy heaps.

“It is going to be intense. I can tell you that,” said President Trump when asked about the inquiry, “But I am looking forward to it. I have a lot of stamina and can keep going a lot longer than they can, a lot, lot longer.”