Six-Year-Old Saying, ‘Why Don’t We Just Give Everything Away For Free?’ Surges To Top Of Democratic Polls, by the Babylon Bee.

Susie Peters of Minneapolis, Minnesota, was on a local news segment where children gave their opinions on world problems, and she asked, “Why can’t we just give everyone everything they want for free?” The message quickly went viral and really resonated with Democratic voters, propelling Susie from unknown to third in most polls, ahead of Bernie Sanders and just behind Elizabeth Warren and Joe Biden.

“She really has a plan for everything,” said Melinda Carlson, one of Susie’s enthusiastic supporters. “While Elizabeth Warren only has a plan for getting people free health care and free college, Susie has a plan to get everyone free everything. She’s truly a visionary.” …

Susie has unveiled her new popular campaign slogan, “But I want it!” and has already qualified for the next Democratic presidential debate, though she may not be able to attend since it will be on past her bedtime.

Satire, but strangely truthy.