Woke Polar Bear Apologizes For Being White, by the Babylon Bee.
A polar bear at the San Diego Zoo has apologized to black bears, brown bears, and all other mammals of color for his “problematic whiteness.” …
“Wow,” he said. “I never realized how problematic my existence was before. I really need to think about this.”
Shortly after reading the book, the polar bear, whose name is Chad, held a press conference in which he apologized for his many years of not being “woke” to the struggle of non-white animals.
“I am so sorry for everyone I’ve hurt,” he said. “I am hereby canceling myself. Please listen to black and brown bear voices.” He also announced that he was donating his remaining walruses to minority bears in need. “The overwhelming whiteness of the polar bear community should give us all paws.”