First They Threw Milkshakes

First They Threw Milkshakes, by Jim Goad.

In the grand tradition of primates tossing feces at perceived rivals, leftists in the UK have lately taken to throwing milkshakes at right-leaning figures they hyperbolically refer to as fascists. And as with the multifarious nasty things that they do, they justify it in the name of some “greater good” that they are comically incapable of quantifying or even articulating.

The start:

The trend apparently began early in May when Danyal Mahmud, a 23-year-old Muslim living in England, threw a milkshake in the face of anti-Islamist agitator Tommy Robinson, who was born Stephen Yaxley-Lennon. By Mahmud’s own admission, he had joined a group of leftist protesters in taunting Robinson by chanting that he was “scum” — again, leftists see nothing wrong with dehumanizing others based on the premise that the people they are dehumanizing deserve it because they, um, dehumanize others — before Robinson and some cohorts came over to have a little chat about the prevalence of Muslim grooming gangs in England. Mahmud apparently couldn’t handle the discussion and dumped his shake on Robinson’s head, which immediately led to Mahmud receiving a beating.

Just like a woman who hits her partner and then claims victimhood when he hits back, the man who called Robinson “scum” and assaulted him with a milkshake is now whining that he feels under threat …

It spread:

It wasn’t the last time Robinson would be “milkshaked”—a “protestor” assaulted him with a shake the very next day. …

Next in line for a milkshaking was Carl Benjamin, a UKIP candidate who is best known as the far-right YouTuber Sargon of Akkad. It would be the fourth time he received this treatment and likely not the last. …

The milkshaking trend had metastasized to the point where last week, police in Edinburgh asked a McDonald’s to cease selling milkshakes near where Brexit Party alpha dog Nigel Farage was scheduled to speak. McDonald’s complied, but Farage got milkshaked anyway by a fat, balding, bearded, bespectacled male progressive …

Last week an 81-year-old Brexit Party member was assaulted with a milkshake, as was a reporter for Breitbart UK. …

The media rather think this is a good trend:

For most of my life I’ve witnessed leftists throw eggs and glitter and pies and shoes at people they consider unacceptably “right-wing.”

One thing the leftist press neglected to mention about all those “peaceful anti-racist protesters” in Charlottesville is that they threw urine-and-feces-filled balloons at their perceived ideological opponents and justified it because that’s just what you do to “Nazis.”

Mainstream media outlets such as The New York Times and CNN earnestly attempted to justify “why” this milkshaking trend is happening.

Newsweek paints the phenomenon as harmless “absurdist memetic humor,” while The Guardian, blithely ignoring 100% of reality, argues that the trend “represents a frustration with traditional media’s failure to hold the far right to account.” Why, it’s almost is if the “traditional media” hasn’t portrayed the “far right” as Satan incarnate for at least a generation!

Moves on to bricks:

Milkshaking apologists have also scoffed at the idea that this is a slippery slope and that if we justify tossing milkshakes, soon we’ll justify throwing bricks. Sorry, but this has already happened: Muslim activists recently threw bricks at supporters of Tommy Robinson, while an English woman said that Nigel Farage should have acid lobbed in his face. And just as Burger King appeared to suggest that they supported milkshaking, a British beer manufacturer recently said that its clients shouldn’t waste their beer on “fascists” and should instead clobber them with bricks.

The hypocrisy:

The modern left is so predictable, we all know that even after 100,000 milkshakings, if one intrepid “right-winger” were to respond by knocking out someone’s teeth, this would be all the evidence the left would need to “prove” that the right wing is violent and needs to be exterminated.