Farting on Black People

Farting on Black People, by David Cole. A grim piece.

Yes, black unemployment in the U.S. is at its lowest point in 45 years … [But] blacks are the only U.S. racial group earning less today than they were in 2000.

Normally, the “establishment conservative 101” response to such insufferable black pessimism is to become all Stuart Smalley and say, “Well, that’s just stinkin’ thinkin’, Tyrone! You gotta adjust the ol’ attitude, believe in the American dream, hit the books, stay in school, don’t do drugs, and eat your vegetables” (I feel like I just channeled Ben Shapiro when I wrote that).

Black leftists dismiss such advice as feel-good, fantasyland gibberish. And God help me, in this instance, I actually agree with them, if for a different reason. After all, for all their pessimism, black leftists have their own version of a feel-good, fantasyland gibberish answer, which is, if whites would just stop being so damn racist, the black community’s problems would vanish overnight.

I reject the “blame it on racism” nonsense of the left, and the Boy Scout/Horatio Alger “dad advice” of the establishment right. My pessimism regarding black America is not so easily soothed. Keep in mind, back in my own days as a GOP cog, when I was actually organizing events with Ben Shapiro, I would have given the “eat your broccoli, do your homework” answer myself.

My “evolution” on the issue began, oddly enough, while watching some of my favorite prank videos on YouTube … You may not know this, but there’s an entire subgenre of YouTube prank videos in which white, Asian, and Hispanic pranksters venture into black communities just to fuck with the locals. They’re called “hood pranks,” and, cumulatively, they have hundreds of millions of views. And within this subgenre is a sub-subgenre in which pranksters fart on black people. Or at least they pretend to (they use a handheld noisemaker called a “pooter”). The premise is so simpleminded, even George Lucas could appreciate it. Fart on a black person, and enjoy the angry reaction (and maybe get socked in the face). …

The problem is, blacks have not, as a community, made themselves indispensable enough for the rest of the nation to give a damn about them. Jews? Hate ’em if you will, but they have made themselves indispensable in most of the fields and industries that matter … Curse Mexican immigration all you want, but in my home state …, Mexicans have made themselves indispensable …. But blacks? Look at the 2017 Bureau of Labor Statistics population survey. The industries in which blacks comprise a truly significant percentage? Barbers, bus drivers, and private security (i.e., bouncers and bodyguards). Penny-ante stuff. …

The state of the U.S. black community, and its likely future, is nothing to celebrate. It’s a terrible tragedy. And I suspect that much of the hostility, much of the nihilism, on display from young blacks these days is due to an instinctive if unconscious understanding that the black community might be in an irreversible free fall. This is why Larry Elder-style “live clean, respect your mama, grab the brass ring” boilerplate rings so hollow to so many young black people. Try telling a Comanche on a reservation in 1900, “Live right, read your Bible, and your community will be strong again in no time!” A people in collapse tend to lose their fondness for empty pep talks. …

Writing for The Root, Morgan State professor Jason Johnson (a frequent guest on CNN and MSNBC) frets that “African-American birth rates have fallen below what is known as ‘the replacement level,’” adding, “A shrinking black population puts many of our age-old strategies for success at risk, since black power has always come from maintaining political majorities in cities like Washington, D.C., being a crucial voting bloc, or acquiring federal or private investment after a census.”

Based on U.S. Census Bureau calculations, Washington, D.C.’s “black population is disappearing.” And in Chicago? “Chicago’s white population seems to be on the rise. In fact, the total population of whites now may exceed that of blacks.” And what of the “progressive” West Coast? The region is seeing “an exodus of blacks” even as many “economically struggling Midwestern cities” have “declining black populations.”

Again I say, dire news. An increasingly insignificant population of more use to YouTube pranksters than the country at large. And again I say, this is not even remotely funny. It’s tragic. …

As the black community continues to decay, and as it continues to get squeezed by whites, Asians, and the stupefyingly fertile Hispanics, we’ll see a kind of urban “reservation” network take shape. Blacks with skills and a desire to be seen as something other than fart receptacles will leave the community and mix with everyone else. The remaining detritus? They’ll be increasingly boxed into urban hellholes. Reservations, essentially. Places with lots of welfare, lots of crime, and little hope. Places that cannot be helped, places that cannot be saved.