Anywhere nice absolutely teeming with arseholes, by The Daily Mash in the UK.

THE picturesque parts of Britain are now full of utter dickbags, it has emerged.

As figures confirm an exodus of affluent Londoners, experts confirmed that intolerable twats could no longer be avoided in even the most remote places.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Thanks to broadband internet and paranoia, anywhere with grass and birds within a 400-mile radius of the metropolis is almost entirely populated by dreadful people with MacBooks who work in ‘branding’.

“The UK has reached a kind of ‘bullshit tipping point’ where if you want to avoid the kind of people you get in London, you have to move to London.”

38-year-old reality television producer Emma Bradford said: “Thanks to broadband internet I can now do my evil work from a lovely country cottage, while also writing Sunday supplement pieces about making jam.”

Ok the article is tongue-in-cheek and that quote is almost certainly made up, but it is an interesting and valid point. If you work via the Internet, your physical location might as well be somewhere pleasant — because you don’t have to be close to the city center.

hat-tip Philip Barton, Bob