Bend Over, Teachers: Here Comes Progress, by Jin Goad.

Evergreen State College is nestled far away from reality in the misty paradise of Olympia, Washington, a mossy and supernatural village which is run by lesbian elves and transgender circus performers. The school bears the dubious distinction of being “one of the least selective universities in the nation with an admittance rate of 98%.”

Reaching back to the 1970s, the school has hosted an annual “Day of Absence” in which nonwhite students and faculty were encouraged to skip school and reflect elsewhere on how much it sucked to go to a racist school with racist teachers and racist students and racist buildings with racist libraries full of all that racist knowledge, even though their educations were likely almost entirely funded by racist white taxpayers.

This year, due to caterwauling among Students of Color that they felt unsafe on the campus due to Donald Trump’s election — despite the statistical possibility that not a single teacher nor student on the entire campus voted for Trump or even dared to utter one public word in support of him — the Day of Absence’s organizers attempted to flip the script. Instead of the usual routine, which involved black students effectively playing hooky, white students were encouraged to stay off campus, where they could attend workshops that scrubbed their brains clean of any self-interest and instead filled their crania with wholesome and forward-looking feelings of self-loathing. …

Read it all. Incredible stuff. Beyond parody.

Second best comment:

What a great time for Mt. St. Helens to do a Vesuvius on that cesspool of a university.

Best comment:

I’d wish Mt. St. Helens the best of luck in the aftermath. It’ll surely never find work again having to be labeled both a “volcano” AND “racist” for the rest of its life.

hat-tip Stephen Neil