The Clinton-Weiner email conspiracy: The 2016 campaign only makes sense if Hillary and Donald are both fighting to stay out of office, by David Mastio.

On one side, we have Vladimir Putin, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and the Islamic State conspiring to place a serially-bankruptbillionaire blowhard (with his own line of neckwear!) into the Oval Office at a key moment in history. On the other, a tireless and patriotic Donald Trump, backed by a band of failed online media entrepreneurs, fights the evil plan in a desperate attempt to put the nuclear launch codes in the hands of a corrupt and dishonest retread who has the virtue of, at least, being relatively sane. …

At the beginning of last week, Trump was plunging in the polls as even his most ardent supporters come to realize the guy can only stop groping, kissing and otherwise assaulting women when he is reading the inadvertently-honest emails the Russians hacked from the Clinton campaign chairman’s Gmail account or when he is composing new ways to infuriate everyone with a vagina.

Then, BAM!!!, the FBI director writes a letter to senior lawmakers saying that due to an investigation into the skanky hijinks of Clinton’s Arab-American right-hand gal’s testosterone-addled ex-congressman soon-to-be ex-husband (named Weiner!), the G-men have discovered a hard drive where potentially Top Secret State Department emails snuggled up next to an archive of crotch-bulge JPEGs used in “Carlos Danger’s” perverse Twitter mating rituals with potentially underage girls. …

An Islamic State-inspired son of an Afghani Muslim immigrant (who thinks he is the Afghani president-in-exile) kills four dozen Americans at the Pulse, an Orlando gay nightclub. As if on cue, Democratic leaders and liberal opinionators make it seem like they are more worried about the killer’s homophobia than his hatreds’ religious and immigrant roots. If there was a conspiracy, this is exactly what they’d cook up to make Trump’s ban on Muslim immigration seem sane.