Episode V: The White Male Patriarchy Strikes Back

Episode V: The White Male Patriarchy Strikes Back, by Baz Shemirani.

The time is 8:40, but the C Blocker [Year 12 student at Eton College, England] is fast asleep. He need not rise until 9AM, since Chapel was banned. Eventually he slops out of bed and, still in rainbow pajamas, trudges off to lessons.

Eton College Chapel

Uniform is redundant now: such symbols of slavery were banished long ago. Lessons breeze by: with no note-taking or homework, he enjoys a safe, inclusive environment void of competition. Crayons are the only available choice of writing implement. High capacity assault pens are hateful.

After lessons, a lecture at the Farrer theatre. 40 minutes of anecdotal waffle later, and he can recite yet another ill of the white male patriarchy. The audience erupts into a silent flutter of feminist jazz hands (clapping can trigger anxiety).

Poor C Blocker is already triggered, however. He stands up, keen to question such a vacuous argument.

“Excuse me Sir!”

You’ll never guess what happens next. Brilliant essay by a perceptive young writer. Read it all.